Better?

We wake up to every morning hoping for a better day.
When we hit a wall we kneel down and pray to God ( or maybe Goddesses).
We look back to the past to see the security of a fond memory.
We seek the comfort of reassurance from a friend in times of doubt.
There are a million ways, for us to feed our insecurity.

Its been a while since i've blogged, truth be said: i have nothing to say anymore. When i read back to my old posts i feel my own naivety. Most of the things i say were basically "thoughts for a second"; self made promises i have created to fool myself from reality. Creating my very own way of thought changeable by every living second. I do not know what to call this event. I feel like every day i'm brainwashing myself. I feel more and more distant to my thoughts and more in tune with other peoples. I lose my interests in the things i used to love. I change more and more to be accepted by other people. I feel like a lab rat who had too much shock therapy, afraid to make a move. I feel more emptier every single day. Even alcohol does not bring me joy as it used to. Is this growing up?
If it is, i have to stop. I am losing grip of my sanity