Pathetic as i'll ever be

So now everything i have reminds me of you. No matter how elaborate i put it or how crazy i express it, you still say you wont change your mind. I sit and smile looking like a fool for trying whatever the cost to tell you im a dick for the way i treated you and i still do. Though i asked you to change, i still loved you even if you did not. I am sorry for telling to you change, but i feel relationships need to be worked on. Now you are mad for me telling you i love you no matter how you treat me. A lot of people told me to move on, even you told me face to face that you didn't care for me anymore. But somewhere around 2 months ago, i said i would love you whatever the cost. Im not one of those guys who will say "i just want her to be happy", saying that so they wouldn't look bad if they moved on after being so desperately in love. No, when i said i love you i meant it. Im not naive because i wanted to be the one to make you happy, and it sounds selfish but i can't lie about it. If i said i don't think about you i would be lying. I won't call you names or talk bad about you since this is my fault. But i know that everything i try to say wont reach your ears, even me saying im sorry. So now i guess i just let go, cause even you say i'm incapable to make you happy anymore. I like the believe the feeling is mutual, but i imagine things too much. I'm the one person you would hate for trying to do the opposite of hate. So really, Im sorry when you read this i mean nothing but regret for being nothing but annoying to you. If you say im the one who can never understand you its fine, because i never did stop trying even when you closed your doors.